Mama Mia

Mark opened the door and saw a blurry V of white ass jackrabbit-ing between his mother's legs. Jesus Christ, how can you even feel anything going that fast? Then again, Dan did everything at hyper-speed - walking, talking, writing, typing, even his eyes twitched so quickly you almost couldn't see the tiny blinks. Fuck, his turds probably came out of his ass like missiles leaving a silo. He closed the door.

It opened just as quickly behind him. "Mark-"

He turned around.

"You need to learn how to knock-"

"You need to learn how to lock the door-"

"Don't be smart-"

"Don't be careless-"

Sarah looked down as she finished fastening her robe and sighed. "What did you want?"

"I was just going to tell you that I was leaving-"

"Where are you going?"

"I told you - to Mr. Cook's house-"

"Who's Mr. Cook?"

"Geez, mom, I told you. He's my English teacher. We're going to watch a movie and talk about books and stuff-"

"Mark-"

"What?"

"Is he a homosexual?"

Mark could hear, above the blood sprinting to his brain, Dan smoothing the sheets in the room behind his mother. He looked her in the eyes, a mirror of himself but older and in female form. "I don't know-"

"Well, you better. You know what The Bible says about them-"

"I know what it says about fucking Flash when you're not married to him, too-"

Sarah's hand was cold, then warm against Mark's cheek and barely made a sound. "Don't use language like that in my house-"

"Don't throw stones in your house-"

"Don't use cliches in my house-"

"Touche-"

Sarah put her arms around Mark's shoulders and giggled. "I just worry about you, honey. I don't want you to go to Hell."

"Don't you worry about that. I don't." Mark kissed her cheek and walked out the front door.